It's been said; and said over and over again. Our society is made of only two types of people. The fakers and their makers. Friends and forsakers (read reverse for the correct allusion, i need things to rhyme well). The fakers wouldn't exist if it weren't for people like you and me who decorate their evil design consistently and quite rewardingly too. The makers are the ones who till their soil and make their harrow move smoothly through the ground of association. There may be a fair number of people who would enthusiastically put me in the first cartel but due to my ever-increasing urge to write candidly and with my tongue stuck permanently in a non-condescending cheek, I might as well be sprinting my way towards the other piggy-pen.
Now, getting back to the original thought and subsequent clarifications. Why the brisk categorization? Ummm...just because I thought so and also because this blog is about thinking aloud. So, that's the first qualifier. The second, and less important one is that having dodged many such people in my own life, and still being hounded by one of the either; it is a foregone conclusion that there's no third type.
Here're the thoughts then, loud and clear.
#1 The Part-time Indian: These are found mostly in metros, or big cities (and I guess mostly in India too, as I haven't had the opportunity to live in a better economy yet)and are always on the look out for rehab. From country to country. They will grow up in their country of origin, consume and abuse her resources, gain the least required qualification to get out of there and to thriving economies, only to land back on home-turf when they're conveniently laid-off during economic crises in their 'so-called' heaven. They are the ones, you'll find deriding every single aspect of the country's existence as they shout out from holier-grounds about lack of good-quality stuff, any quality of life, and the wretched moral standards of all those who call themselves natives. And given an opportunity, they won't forget to remind you of your natural inferiority to them as they are now 'foreign' passport holders of God's favoured land. And their makers : the veteran fakers who have been done and dusted and now acquire a place on the mantel, validating and enjoying the conversation rich with annoyance for the home-state and starry-eyed reminiscing of their 'foreign' merit.
#2 The Frenemy: Who hasn't met one in a lifetime? A friend who makes you want to trade her/him for an enemy. Earlier, considered to be an epidemic rampant only in the fairer sex, it has slowly and silently raised its head in Martian land too. They are the ones who will make for the most boisterous parties at your place, guzzling down your booze, never forget to call you at least a dozen times a day and will shower you with unsolicited love and advice through puberty to parenthood. Behold, the frenemy! You might, one day, wake up to a telephone call from a distant acquaintance, checking with you if all was well in your personal life as they mouth off their condolences for your utter misfortune. Binnng! The frenemy has been at work, tirelessly and relentlessly.
Their makers: Those who savour every bit of juicy gossip about other 'so-called' friends, doled out to them in strict confidentiality. Such people may give their ear-drums a sound beating as soon as they discover that they have been the juicy subject in their frenemy's interactions with others.
#3 The Keep-Everyone-Happy type : These are actually the good ones. Till the time you get to know them up, close and personal. They're the moderators in a group, the peace-makers and quietly suggesting to you about their aversion to being totally counted upon in a situation. They will never cross paths with you, or anyone. When confronted with a passionate demand of a show of loyalty, they will probably shake your hand, eke out an air-brush of a kiss and inch sideways towards the door. That's the good part about them. They never become sticky notes in your life. The makers: The ones who themselves, border dangerously on acquiring the same trait as they refuse to see any potential flip-side to a non-adhering friend and do not wish to ruffle feathers themselves. Life is ever so long and low, for flightless birds.
#4 The Mask : The most intelligent of the lot. That makes them equally dangerous too. They don't think progressive. Rather, they will decide on the final outcome and work their way backwards towards it, while keeping you guessing about the funny and ridiculous turn of events. You'll be in the dark till the day it suddenly dawns on you how conveniently you've been fooled and led into their trap. Dig and probe as you may, but you'll never find any light in this tunnel. Their thoughts are like long, dark and winding drain-pipes and you'd rather stay out of them than trying to find a way towards a decent end. And this comes from a really stubborn me, who refused to give up trying to see the good in one such "Gloria". Guess what happens to people in gutters.
The makers: People who identify and/or empathize with stubborn 'me'.
Experience, they say, makes you richer. Experience, in my opinion, makes you an acerbic writer. And just for that, I shall have to offer my gratitude to such fakers to have walked through my life and given much body and substance to this post. And just for such freebies from them, I shall continue to be an indulgent maker of the faker.